I'm currently learning how to drive and should pass in time for university as it's only 17 miles away; a dream for South Asian parents as they realize there's no need for you to have the 'uni experience' when you can have it at home for nothing. What a downer on my optimism.
Driving is hell for me. I'm better off trudging onto bus 61 every morning and watch the grey miserable faces glance at me with their dead eyes as I walk across the lobby to go the second row from the back and slump into a shit stained seat. I like it if I'm grotesquely honest.
It's grubby and sometimes it downright filthy, but every time I board the deck, I get a sense of relief washing over me; the fact that I don't have to do any harsh breaking, turning into tight corners or give way to 'badman' drivers who blast their music and have their exhausts make deep farting revs that make you want to murder them with their fake gold neck chains makes me immensely happy.
I've no passion to drive, the driving experience is not important for me. As much as I'd love to have the red card license to hush up my parents and sniggering relatives and already sorted-with-a-car friends, I can't help but feel that I'm putting myself in danger's line of sight each time I'm behind the damn wheel.
Right now until I've passed, I'm a disgraceful 19 year old who can't drive, as my mother frequently says. An argument about it would start from nowhere, it's as if she has a wicked knack for picking up the subject when I have company around. As I go redfaced and hear the stifled guffaws of my friends behind me, she always begins like this
" Auntie Saveena's daughter has passed and she takes her mother to Tescos, what can you do?"
"Uncle Javaid's daughter, she's 17 and she's passed! She takes her family to school and work, what are you doing? It's been 2 years since you- - ...blah blah blah"
(Blackout)
(Fade back in)
Having a red license and the right to ANY car, makes you a dutiful taxi driver to family members and friends who are as useless as you were when you just has the crappy green license.
There's so many reasons to drive, but I tend to find reasons not to. Is that normal, or is it laziness? Maybe it's because that I know what duties I have to carry out when I pass. So yeah, I guess it's laziness but with an wise economical decision of cutting down on emissions and congestions on the road. The motoring world is better without me, and the driver agree. A horn there, beeping here, I can't keep up.
So, if you see me driving along in some kinda car - I was promised one after I pass, what joy - just run. It'll be a miracle that I pass, and if it's true just get away from the pavements, it won't be a safe place to walk because there will be a left pair of wheels riding them instead.
Oh, my life is such a tragedy. But I guess tragedy is comedy. I guess that when I'm dead, it would either be with humiliation or that somebody allowed me behind a wheel of a car....
