Since When Did Fat Chicks Become Nudists in Public?

Ew. I've seen more than I've wanted to these last few weeks on the streets of merry ole' England. My recent memory is of slabs of pasty skin rolling over a spotted chunk of badly tanned skin, falling out from underneath a very uncapable vest. Poor Primark vest. You did not deserve such a big boned owner.

The girl was probably no older than 12 and she looked like the unfortunate lovechild of Mr. Blobby and Heather from Eastenders. Her mother on the other hand, looked starved in her tracksuit and goldy-lookin' chains. She even had those pitiful sallow eyes that stared at you pitifully, like that of an abused skurvy greyhound.

It's a cruel world, and I blame the big fatties. And by fatties, I mean the lardie bums who think every air hole is a pie hole - not the blunt smokin' glory that makes this world a little easier to bear. Would you rather the world suffocated on billowing human flesh or jukin' blunts? Well if you say 'human flesh', you can shoot yourself.