So God knows when was the last time I updated this Blogger but its obvious it is no longer a frustrated passion of mine to slam my fingers onto my keyboard to let out a few voracious rants. Twitter is equally neglected and Facebook seems like something I used eons ago.
I am a woman now. I have responsibilities, roles, expectations, excetera, excetera. I no longer swing my arms around with innocent hopefulness that someone will give me things just because I look small and younger than my age. I don't get certain exemptions neither - before all I did was use my wit and charm and say that I was a talented and ambitious writer and usually people brought that. I got what I wanted, and I was usually content.
Third year of university had sucked out the charm and wit and replaced it with something that made me ghoulish and surly. I began to lose focus and I was spinning out control even when both my feet where firmly on the ground. I wasn't sure what I was doing and I don't remember doing much. Its as if the year didn't exist and I was like a computer that had crashed and lost all its unsaved documents.
I didn't have a meltdown, but my family were. You see, there's a wedding currently happening in our house, my elder brother is due to get married next week. I have heard about this upcoming event for the past year as each day had past and when the parents try to get you involved whilst you're studying, you often feel like you can't make a commitment to both things that need your help, needless of what they say.
I was stuck between studying and sorting out evening dresses, venues, dances, themes and such. Now the time has come; I'm almost due to graduate, but I get my results during the first few days of the wedding. Depending on what I get will probably effect my mood throughout the bloody celebrations.
I find it funny how things like this happen. When there's opportunity knocking at the door and you're not sure whether to open it up and embrace it because you're tied down by other commitments. Then you realise life is too short to regret it later. You only live once and you should live it well. Not to say that you'll abuse the trust you've gained from parents but to allow them to believe that yes, you are responsible and that you need to do things for yourself in order to be happy. Happiness is a factor that should be in our hearts and minds at all times, and when you don't feel it, find something that makes you happy. Eat well, pray well, live well.
So let's recap: in a weeks time, I get my results. In a weeks time also is a wedding which will see my brother establish a new stage in his life. In a weeks time, I should be the happiest person in the world. How will I make sure this happens?
By booking a fucking holiday.
