I've turned the healthy number of 23 years old today.
And I've faced a multitude of grim decisions made on my behalf with no control over say or action.
I've been manipulated, scrapped, turned over and betrayed by a number of people, and I vow to give them a piece of my mind when I get the chance.
I've never been so vengeful on a birthday before.
Miserable and lonely because my birthday always fall on a weekday and I'm always doing the most unflattering things ever, yes - wanting to gouge a person's eye out and wanting to strangle slow pigeons that are taking too long moving out the way of my car, no.
Here's the jip that's got me all bunged up with toxic matter and murderous rage:
I've been moved from my team and re-arranged onto a department pod with people I do not function well with. I am furious as this is my day off from work, and I have no say over what happens other than offering a little obscenity-safe rant down the phone to the department.
Secondly, my mum made me get up and buy a hoover. A hoover?! Why today of all days, when I could have slept in til the morning afternoon, internet shopped (by placing things in my basket but leaving the page and never getting them at all), and just in general, being lazy and watch a few movies.
Since yesterday, I have felt nothing but vast emptiness. It's the hollowed feeling that you're not actually being considered a being, you're the pest amongst the group. Knowing that people are wishing you happy birthday, but really what they're actually saying is 'yeah, so, a little birthday party invite won't hurt' or 'let's just get to know each other again, like old times' or more commonly 'who cares if you're old, I only know your birthday because Facebook told me so. We're not exactly friends let alone acquaintances anymore. I'll remove you from my friends list without you knowing.'
I hate feeling like I'm alone when I'm not. I have no idea how to communicate, yet I've done a degree in communicating. Does that make me an idiot or a highly expressive artiste?
But then come night, my night got lighter and considerably better.
My good friends came around and swept me out of the house for an old fashioned girly chat and we just talked about everything meaningless there is to mention in this morbid town and then I felt a whole lot better.
I guess all you need is a good listening ear and you're set for a birthday really.
It's all I could have asked for.
